Just nine, more, months. I don’t know if I have the stamina to make it that long. But for now, my soul still feels light, my good humor remains, and I will be tuning in tonight to watch the results from the New Hampshire primary. But three plus hours of political banter, discussion, and argument can be exhausting. So, to enhance your viewing pleasure, may I present the New Hampshire primary drinking game.
Disclaimer: The underqualified writer does not condone, nor encourage drunkenness, “the spins” or pounding hangovers. Please play at your own discretion and limits.
Please note this is all in fun and not meant to insinuate political warfare or become another internet battleground for total strangers. Feel free to add your own additions in the comments.
1)Bernie Sanders’ electability is discussed. – one drink
2) CNN reminds you that, “these numbers are not official” – one drink
3) The largest county is referred to as “the most important one.” – two drinks
4) Ted Cruz gives the glory to God. – finish your beer and start another one. Cause he probably just won New Hampshire.
5) A Republican candidate refers to the last “seven long years.” – three drinks
6) A candidate’s camp “declares victory.” – three drinks
7) A candidate lauds the great state of New Hampshire. – one drink
8) A video of volunteers counting ballets is referred to as “exciting” or “democracy in action.”- two drinks
9) Donald Trump smiles. – finish drink
10) A republican candidate vows to fight climate change. – drink the whole case, celebrate. Hell hath frozen over.
11) A commentator or candidate discusses taking on the establishment. – roll your eyes… and take a drink
12) You feel like punching Marco Rubio. – a carefully measured sip.
13) You feel bad for Jeb Bush. – pour one out for the poor guy
14) Trump says something sexist – two drinks for the guys. One for the ladies.
15) An indie rock song is heard at Bernie Sanders headquarters. – one drink
16) Democratic socialism is discussed. – one drink
17) Hillary Clinton’s Wall Street speaking engagements is mentioned. – one drink, pray for all mankind.
18) Ben Carson announces he’ll be returning to Valhalla to slumber and feed for the remainder of the evening. – Fill your pyramid silo with grain
19) The media is blamed for not covering/over covering a topic or candidate. – Denounce the liberal media and/or the conservative media. Begin getting all your information from the Onion.
20) A candidate brags about how little their “average donation is.” – Finish beer, give Bernie Sanders $50.
Cover photo found at: http://www.newseum.org/